Sometimes we think an issue we are struggling with lies in the way someone treated us. Perhaps our mother did not nurture us in ways we needed. Or our father was remote and uninterested in us, or stern and critical. We may place blame on them for our current problems, chronic issues, or unhappy life situations.
The Ego-Mind likes stories. It tries to protect us and provide explanations for experiences in our past that cause us pain. However a story can keep us stuck in the past. A story is static, while we are dynamic. Change is the only constant in life, and if we want to move forward and evolve we have to let go of our old stories.
What if we reframed our perspective and re-wrote the stories about our past relationships? What if we let go of playing the role of passive victim and, owning our experiences, viewed them as opportunities for our growth and development?
Perhaps the relationships we have with others are soul contracts to help us gain self-awareness and to work on our own issues. Other people may trigger something in us, or reflect something back to us, thereby helping us see something we were not aware of. An emotional reaction to something outside of our self provides a clue that draws our attention.
Instead of giving our power away by blaming someone for triggering or mistreating us, and spinning into story, we can take responsibility by turning inward. What is coming up in us that needs resolution or healing? What changes can we make for our self? This is empowering and puts us in the driver’s seat of our own life.
From this place we can adopt a higher, broader, more spiritual perspective for understanding our life experiences. We can see that relationships are what I like to call “the crucible for self-awareness and transformation.” We can honor the soul contracts we have with others and have gratitude for the ways others serve our spiritual growth.
“What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.”
– Simon Peter Fuller